Marriage in Yoruba Religious Sphere Living in the West (posted by Oyadun via email)

[Obadele Kambon]

Marriage in Yoruba Religious Sphere Living in the West Human Growth and Development Fayomi Falade Cognitive Development: Moral, Religion of Ifa, Religious Law in Yoruba Culture The growing phenomenon in the African American community has been the Pan African movement in the United States and the surrounding African Diaspora countries such as: the Caribbean (Bermuda, Jamaica, Trinidad, Cuba, Puerto Rico, Bahamas, Bahia, Mexico) Central America, South America, England, Germany, Amsterdam, and countless other places where Nigerians from the Southwest Nigeria have gone through the years, immigrating for work and study. Yoruba culture, literature, arts, religion is over 12,000 years old and has been included as a phenomenon that has grown as a religious force right within the confines of western culture due to the convergence of colonialism and slavery of the Maafa Transatlantic slave trade. The religion of Ifa and Orisa worship has been synchronized, hidden from the unknowing eyes of the post-colonial authorities for this would have spelled a death sentence for those who practice this religion in the colonies of United States, Cuba, Panama, Brazil and England. The marriage rituals of the Yoruba people is extensive and has spiritual, moral, and religiously complex laws that are geared to give cultural and contextual understanding of the relationship to Olodumare(God), the Yoruba community, and above all the family. In understanding this relationship; one must also have a working knowledge of the Yoruba cultural mindsets. In describing this mindset Mrs. Oyeronke Olajuba who wrote the outstanding work, “Women in the Yoruba Religious Sphere said of her work project of this book and in the collection of data, Marriage in Yoruba Religious Sphere Living in the West spoke of gender and power constructs and the working understanding of the Yoruba culture, as a woman of Yoruba decent direct: “I am a Yoruba woman rooted in the culture by birth and affinity; it was therefore relatively easy for me to access information. I could speak the language, but most importantly, I could understand the language in its verbal and non verbal forms. The import of differentiating speaking from understanding a language brings to mind an experience that is worth sharing. In making an excuse for praying in English rather than in Yoruba, a Yoruba clergyman recently told a gathering in London, “gbogbo wa la gbo ede, ki se gbogbo wa lo ye” meaning “we may all be able to speak Yoruba language, but not all of us understand it”. I recognized and respected social boundaries embedded in the language and in the social norms. Where I needed to transgress some of these boundaries during my fieldwork, I knew and utilized appropriate language in explaining my reasons for doing so” (Olajuba, O. 2003). Additionally, it is critical to understand the religion of the Yoruba people, belief system, and culture is closely and forever intertwined. Culture is a means to express religion whereas religion of Ifa is an integral essence and part of the culture. In understanding the process of marriage in the African American communities who are practicing the Yoruba religion of Ifa and Orisa; we must take into consideration that we are adopting a religious and spiritual way of life; within the confines of a culture that is western in concept and cognitive development. The marital laws that are hegemonistically pushed into the minds of its followers as Christianity has both as a world religion and cultural paradigm; both abroad and in the United States; in some instances, some of its followers have not been as tolerant of other religious traditions. Thus, it created an air of rigid imperialism to those worshippers of non Christian religious sects. Marriage relationships within the Yoruba religious sphere, first starts with our deities, to show the necessities of marriage in our culture and why the process is so highly favored by the Gods and the people. In one of the religious text called the Odu Ifa, which explore not only the religious law but the cultural mandates, as well as a historical marker for times of great dynamic social change in Nigeria from its origins and is still relevant in modern times, speaks in the Ifa chapter called Eji Ogbe (two Ogbe’s): Eji Ogbe You woke up well Because you slept well This was the message of Ifa to Olokose When going to ask for the hand of Omide in marriage You woke up well Because you slept well This was the message of Ifa to Omide When going to become Olokose’s wife There were advised to offer Ebo (sacrifice) They complied Yes! You have woken up well If the husband is alive and happy The wife is happy You have woken up well Because you slept well If the wife did not die young The husband shall be very happy Yes! You have woken up well Because you slept well In the Yoruba culture the responsibility of well being in a marriage is the responsibility of both parities (Popoola, S., Oyesanya, F. Ikunle Abiyamo2008) Ultimately, in the Yoruba culture marriage is not the safe responsibility alone of the couple but that of communities. In the Yoruba mindset and cultural paradigm, marriage is the joining of two or more families. In the Yoruba culture, polygamy or plural marriages are not only legal in Nigeria but in the religious community priesthood’s can be and is an integrated section of marriage ceremony that includes the necessary healing process of those devotees that come for spiritual ministering by its priest (Babalawo and Iyanifa- Father of mystery-Mother in Ifa). Heredity and Environment This religious ceremony of co-wife, when adopted in the western cultures; can be and is difficult to arrange for the legal and jurisprudence institutions of western societies prohibit this form of marriage to be recognized. However, within the communities in those countries were polygamy is not permitted legally; and still engage in plural marriages must cope daily with the problems of being raised in the western mind-set and training for first and second generation cohorts in this religious tradition. In the laws of Ifa, it is known and the mindset is that without marriage, there can be no children and without children, the ancestors of our dearly departed cannot manifest back into the world. Reincarnation is a great part of the belief system of the Yoruba people; just as divination is the tool in which communications with the Deities is sustained. The Odu Ifa in the chapter of Ose Otura (Ose- Tuura) speaks also of the lifetime commitment of marital partners and not necessarily between a man and woman but of the families of not only the two but of that of the co wives. (Popoola, S. 2008). Ose Tuura speaks: Marriage in Yoruba Religious Sphere Living in the West Life without a wife is not worth being reticent about The whole world needs to hear about it This was the message of Ifa to the 200 Irunmole (primordial Deities) on the right Also declared same message to the 200 Irunmole (primordial Deities) on the left When coming from heaven to earth When lamenting their inability to have a spouse They were advised to offer ebo They all complied In post colonial times the marital institutions changed with on the onset of the Christian and Islamic influence on the Yoruba culture. However, in pre-colonial times, betrothal would at times, commence with ceremonies before puberty as dictated by the edicts of Ifa through the divinatory process by the priest or priestess. Usually, however, a man negotiates through an intermediate (Alarena), classman or friend or even a wife, and cannot approach either a girl or her parents to propose marriage. The proposal is not accepted immediate, and usually the intermediaries (Alarena) have to return several times before they receive an answer, while the girl’s parents are making careful inquiries into the character of their prospective son-in-law. If they approve and it is sanctioned by Ifa, accompany by the Alarena, to learn whether the marriage will lead to troubling issues or whether their daughter will have children and prosper in the marriage thus the family. If the prognostication are good, the groom is responsible for the sacrifices prescribed at the time of the consultation with Ifa; if is bad, the proposal is refused. It is extremely rude to refuse an offer of marriage under other circumstances, and if the suitor is not acceptable, the parents resort to a subterfuge which demonstrates the faith in Ifa divination. Instead of stating, “She will have children” they whisper so that they cannot be heard, “The sun will not rise tomorrow,” confident that this proposal will be rejected. A proverb refers to such subterfuges: “As they have wisdom in the house of the intermediary, even so are they wise in the house of those who give their child in marriage (Bascomb, W., 1969) The Yoruba of Southwestern Nigeria, ©1969, Waveland Press). However, in the modernization and the increased influence of Western culture those Yoruba not in the religion of Ifa or who have been Christianized or worship in the Islamic tradition, no longer follow these modes of the Idana(engagement procedures prior to marriage) nor the subsequent Igbeyawo ( marriage ceremony). In the Idana process, the man can now call the girl, his fiancée or junior wife. With an intermediary, he now brings the first financial payment, bride wealth, to seal the engagement. The girl now refers to the man as her husband. The ceremony offering and gift of this installment is five yams, five obi abata (four lobed Kola nuts) 2 logs of firewood from a tree called “Ita”, which in verbiage or the grammatical markings of grave which represents the dropping of the tone and intonations would also refers to (adj.) the personal story told or the third day after an Ifa initiation (Ita Ifa) or one of the Deity Oro’s servants). The second installment known as the “Love Money” is a dowry. The money traditionally and in some instances today is used to buy the handmade marriage cloth and the rest is divided amongst the mother, father and other relatives (Bascomb, W. 1969) The final installment is made just prior to the wedding known as the “wife money”. This money is to buy other clothing and materials for the wedding nuptials-Igbeyawo. While this practice is done more in the Ifa religious settings, Yoruba land, and the communities where the practice is seen in other sects or arms of this religion known as Santeria, Candomble, and Sango Baptist, Lukumi, and Ifa traditionalist Diaspora. Veritably, the difficulties arise in the cultural understanding of African American’s and other Diaspora practitioners, living this traditional way of life, as it is viewed in the light of the Western culture where they live. For example “Bride wealth” is given to preserve the marriage and the contract between all the families and is given to keep the new wife in the house of her perspective husband. Due to the enormous spiritual and metaphysical influences and known powers; this act in the Diaspora, must be looked upon with close scrutiny, both religiously through the oral chanting of the Odu Ifa, for this act says that one cannot go into a divorce lightly, if the marriage comes to insolvable problems i.e. Jealousy amongst the wives, adultery, childlessness, physical abuse, arguments and fights. There is extensive communication throughout the engagement year and gifting of the dowry material which include about 24 yams, stewing meats during four religious festivals. The father of the bride is expected to receive an annual fee during this time as well. The senior wife is encouraged to assist this new junior wife in adapting to the family; visiting the fiancée by bringing the required installments of the financial obligations along with any messages as well as giving any gifts of her own to the new family and will even take the new bride- to-be on any errands if she, the fiancée is allowed to travel about. Again juxtaposition against the background of western culture; the African Diasporic families may have difficulties in honoring these cultural rituals of marriage, for the ingrained bias that is centered within the cultural and educational systems of those who are attempting to adopt this culture of the Yoruba while living in the western hemisphere. Often times before adopting the religious tradition of Ifa, many of the people practicing this tradition were Christians or Muslim, particularly in the United States. Being educated in the United States implies strongly, that one would have developed culturally in the same mindset as most American where marriage ideas have changed and evolved over the centuries. And even in the last 20 years, divorce has increase dramatically through the laxity of the family laws which now incorporate “No Fault” divorce making it increasing easy to divorce with irreconcilable differences; that go without any counseling for the reunification of the marriage. Leaving only the arbitration over marital property and child/children custody rights. However, in the tradition of Ifa the hearing of irreconcilable differences is in the realm of Ifa; the deity is consulted to determine if divorce is plausible or even permitted. More often than not, if the rites were done correctly, then the result may be that Ifa says no to any separation or divorce especially marriages amongst priest and priestess because of a number of reasons i.e., the sanctity and preservation of the cultural marriage institution as provided by the public entities of priest and priestess and community role models; family commitment being the addition of the spiritual heirs through the initiation process(godchildren), for which the elder priest/priestesses are responsible by their conduct; for the spiritual elevation of the community is first and foremost; the breaking of the relationship will cause irreparable harm to the religious community on a whole. Dr. Michael Oshosi (Wright) in his prolific work identifies the problem as such in the African Diasporas: The subject arises because in traditional Africa, especially in areas influenced by trans-Islamic culture, every conceivable form of families or households—including polygamous ones—exists. There are mostly monogamous relationships, some polyandrous relationships, and quite a few polygamous families. These families are accorded a certain status, at least as far as the men are concerned, because they attest to a high level of responsibility that is presumed to obtain. Many African American men and women in the United States, however, fantasize about the benefit and opportunities expectant in polygamous relationships, but severely underestimate the responsibilities and complications they might bring upon themselves when they experiment with them. The criticism of polygamy is usually couched in terms relevant to male sexual opportunism (and the fantastic pursuit thereof), but women are equally invested in the prospect of having younger wives available for their own sort of labor convenience, if not exploitation, or in respect of other fantasized economic and social benefit (Oshosi, M. African Spirituality Versus The African American, 1996, Ibi’koni Orisha, Inc). Pragmatically, if the traditional Yoruba man failed his obligations to provide separate businesses or maintain a separate quarter for each of the wives has been the source of extreme anxiety and angry discourse in the marriage of the African Diaspora traditional marriages. Often, as in some Yoruba land marriages of ethnic difference for example of Ibo versus the Yoruba, there is still a commonality in that both are from the Nation of Nigeria, therefore have learned of each other’s cultural and ethnologies through years of evolutions in the country. The language differences are learned early through the co-mingling of the ethnic groups. However, even though in the religious traditional marriage, the Isode Ifa, which binds spiritually, a couple, or co-wives; the spiritual and pragmatic understanding of this marriage often alludes those adopting the rites of passage with thorough examination or clear development of the benefits or perils of this type of union. Oloye (Chief) FAMA in her 5 Odidere Orunmila Gazette, January-March Edition, 1997, spoke of the Isode Ifa. Paraphrasing, Dr. M. Oshosi tells of Chief FAMA speaking on the superficiality, duplicity, incivility, envy, enmity, and favoritisms (for aayo for example means favorite wife)that actually exist in polygamous relationships. However, these are the major pitfalls that can befall marriages in the religious tradition whether in the Diaspora or Africa herself. If the marriages are not carefully monitored through the religious adepts and spiritual counselors vigorously. Otherwise this type of marriage it can spell disaster. Yet, in light of the current statistic in the United States provided by the U.S Department of Health & Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, The Healthy Marriage Initiative (HMI). Statistics on Marriage, Divorce, and Living Arrangements stipulate: On the whole, Blacks or African Americans hereafter called Blacks) have lower rates of marriage and marital stability than all other ethnic groups. They also have higher rates of single headed families than other groups. With the statistics of 1 out of every 2 marriages of African Americans, ends in divorce; the idea of plural marriages with seriously and realistically structured and strict spiritual counseling; the abiding of those mandates, may be a serious contender for the repair of family relationships within the Ifa religion devotee in the Diaspora. Yet, without understanding the history, historical markers, cultural mindset such as post colonialism; of women creating the idea and structure of polygamy and thus controlling number of wives; and who will be accepted into the family structure before the divinatory process with Ifa. Atmosphere When becoming a member of a religious temple or what is called an “Ile” colloquially; the Yoruba National involved in the marital process has a cleaner prognosis for success because of the cultural structure of marriage is learned from birth on the continent. The ideals of marriage are developed through the young Yoruba person’s life through family education and fostered by the religious mandates. The SES (Social Economic Status) affects marital outlooks of both the Yoruba National and the African American Yoruba in unique and sustainable imagery. The Yoruba male and female in many instances look forward to marriage, the raising of a family because they are taught and trained for the better outcome. It was not until a recent study called in book form, “The Consequences of Marriage for African Americans” an excerpt comment as provided by Dr. Linda Malone-Colon, one of the report’s authors: “This groundbreaking study of African American marriage offers more hard evidence of what most black people and white people already know in their hearts-those marriage matters, that marriage is literally good for the health and well-being of men, women, and children. One of the finding of this report stipulates that: One major finding of the study is that marriage seems to be highly beneficial for African American males throughout the life course. For example when African American boys live with their fathers in the home, particularly their married father’s, they typically receive substantially more parental support.” With this study in mind and again juxtaposition against the Yoruba religious genre’, the African American family can also benefit from the moral turpitude inherited in this religious and cultural construct. The dire prognosis contained in the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services census source 2000, has remedies developing through education, community development, organizational outreach programs, the need for societal support, and the recognition that the true achievement in marriage is characterized by true love, honor, respect, heartfelt mutual support and unconditional commitment(Clayton, O., Glenn, G., Malone-Colon, L, The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center; and Roberts, A. of the Institute for American Values). Biosocial Development As previously discussed, the mandates for those in the religious world of Ifa and Orisa worship believe and use the oracle of Ifa, which tells the client/family history, past, present, and future of all things in existence. The question of “What is Ifa” can be answered but is not limited to this small description herein this discussion: (a) Ifa is a body of knowledge and wisdom with which Olodumare perfected the works of creation (the earth, the heaven, and that are therein; (b) Ifa is the sacred and esoteric words spoken by Olodumare in the beginning which is still binding. It is unchanging and indestructible; (c) Ifa is a databank into which all the knowledge of life are encoded for humans to make use of in order to live a fulfilled life (comfort, security, happiness, victory over all obstacles, longevity, and all good things of life); (d) Ifa is the arrow pointer in the life of human kind, i.e., it shows the way and guide while following it; (e) Ifa is the truth and the character of Olodumare. It is the truth that is ever constant-yesterday, today, and forever; (f) Ifa is the embodiment of all disciplines such as philosophy, literature, science, sociology, ecology, psychology, mysticism, pharmacopoeia, arts, mathematics history, economics, ect.; (g) Ifa knows the action before it is initiated and the consequences of such action; (h) Ifa provides the physical/spiritual solutions to all problems, issues and developments; (i)Ifa is a historian of old Opitan Ife Oodaye( the beginning of the world-primordial space before the occupation of mankind)(Orunmila Youngsters International Lecture series 2001). In keeping of these descriptions of the Ifa doctrine in mind; we can now look at the Ikosodaye ceremony that gives a peep into the future of a child. The term Ole in the Yoruba language assumes the status of a child as fetus. Omo-child is called after birthing into the world. The zygote or fetus is, however, in the culture of the Yoruba at the stage and consider a Human Being. Therefore, the Ikosadaye ceremony, not only looks at the child’s prospects in the world, by giving the community an idea of what and who this child will be to the community, or warn the community of a problem in the character of the child or family, thus, noting that the family and community must work diligently to correct problems before they become overwhelming to the community through troubled behaviors or difficult health issues. Ifa also give the social taboos and prohibitions to the family and community, in order to assist the family and community in the raising of this child. Religious taboos support the child in avoiding possible health concerns or injuries. For example, the Odu Ifa of Idin Osun, the person is prohibited from eating any type of birds which in more modern assessments, it would be said that the person or child has an allergy to this animal. For marital taboos that have significance, there is an example in the Odu Ifa of Ogbe Weyin (Ogbe Iwori) which says as such: though the relationship will be a fruitful one, it is, however noted that there are special conditions that must be adhered to in order for the marriage to frustration free. The date may be fixed for the ceremony but the iyawo-bride must have settle in the home of her spouse prior to the ceremony and only the immediate family will have knowledge of the unfolding events (Popoola, S.2008): Ogbe Weyin Those who throw water, please do so with caution For you not to wet a visitor This was Ifa’s message to Orunmila (The Holy Prophet of the Ifa tradition) When going to have the hand of Olojo, The Visitor, in marriage He was advised to offer ebo He complied Ninth day is the day announced by Olojo She however arrived in five days Psychosocial Development While Ifa is consider the “Afedefeyo-speaker of all languages” and Olodumare the creator of not just the Yoruba people but the progenitor of the human race; there are even in the issues of ethnicity and bias created through the progressively degenerative and destructive era of the Maafa-Transatlantic slave trade, as well as, ethnicities that plague the Yoruba in the Biafra wars in ongoing struggles of dominance of human being over other human beings. There is a new struggle within the religion of Ifa between that of African American Ifa religious adherents’, Yoruba Nigerian adherents’; others who are more mixed ethnically with Latin or Spanish heritage and the emergence of now many Caucasians members into the religion of Ifa. The greater racial divide is predicated on the numbing effects of bias, discrimination, colonialism and of course, the advent of slavery. The ongoing effect worldwide has been seen over the centuries and has been the drumbeat of the civil rights movement and more. In effect, the eventual eradication of racism within our religion is part of an ongoing socio-political campaign, not only in the United States, but worldwide; to remove intolerance from the minds of all people and in the minds of the adherents. However, the newer issues of the Nigerian Yoruba born versus the African American born Ifa devotee is born more from the refusal of both to recognized the spiritual, social, religious, and cultural contributions of each other. Thus, still speaking to a lack of communication and general healthy discussion, over the difference in religious knowledge and understanding. Thereby, it surges a very serious need for the doctrines, laws, rules, pharmacology, and history of those laws of Ifa, from the perspective of the Nigerian Yoruba and thus spiritual and cognitively recognizing within direct descendant, their direct progeny, the African American contributions to Ifa and to have open debate, dialog, repartee’ and discussion in order for the religion and its people to grow cognitively and develop socially. Thus, placing the religion of Ifa, into the realm with prominence, as other world religious order as recognized recently by UNESCO. Polygamy Aboru, Aboye, Abosise Oyeku Meji Okan soso poro l'obinrin dun mo l'owo oko To ba di meji A di ijangbon To ba di meta A di eta-ntule To ba di merin Won a di nigbati o rin mi, ni mo rin o To ba di marun-un Won a di pami-nku To ba di mefa Won a ni, kinni ikin oko awon tie fo're aya se? To ba di meje Won a ni e sare tete Ki e lo pe on laja wa On laja omode wa Onife Ela woore waa Dia fun Eji-Oye O n lo tun aye Onike so Nijo to fo bi igba To faya gbaragbada-gbaragada bi aso ogbaara kanle Nje tani yoo ba wa tun Amori i wa se? Ela Ifa ni yo ba wa tun Amori i wa se o Ela Only one wife is good for a man When they become two They turn to troublemakers When they become three They become home breakers When they become four They create crises that "when you make jest of me, I make jest of you back When they become five They dare their husband to kill them if he can When they become six They retort that why did their husband's Ifa consultation say that it foresees the ire of another wife during consultation? When they become seven People go in search of peacemakers The peacemakers of Onife, the Oba of Ile-Ife They were the Awo who cast Ifa for Eji Oye When it broke as if it were a calabash And tore completely like a misused rag Now, who will help us mend our destinies? Ela Ifa is it that will help us mend our destinies Ela Though, not all of those who are participating in this discussion are Ifa and Orisa worshipers. And for all practical purposes, it is a choice and should be a spiritual choice of whether one should or should not go into the union of multiple marriages. If the Odu Ifa of Oyeku Meji(Eji Oye) or Irente-gbe is cast for a couple in consultation, Ifa is telling the couple(s)' no', to becoming entangled in this type of arrangement. It is telling the clients that only monogamy is the way for them to proceed in marriage. Being involved in this type of relationship is certainly not for everyone. Not only for the legal purposes for this country but for the emotional damage that does it to all parties when they are not suited spiritually or emotionally. While it is true that it should be about family; often times it is not. The mindset has been that it should be able the collective efforts of all in a family. For the productive evolution of the family, however, we are socialized differently, even in Yorubaland, and many are now moving towards a different type of relationship that is Western Hemispheres orient. Whether this is a good or bad thing is not my contribution, it is a choice, no more less, of those who come to this decision. Family, and this is so important, is also consisting of children. And we must ask the question of, "what are the pitfalls that will bring harm to these children if their parents are not stable enough to sustain their relationship?" It should not be bantered across the heads of those who chose to disagree with the choice of polygamy. If those in this type of family structure have developed their bonds to a spiritual height that brings connectedness and all encompassing love for all in their families this is good. The marriage relationship should be lasting without moving from one to other families to join because the core family broke its bonds. There should never be a mastering one over the other. Dominance in a cave man or women mentality has long ago been elevated to hopefully a more spiritual sound and psychological mindsets. "Respect", should be the most honored word as well and harmony and love. Respect of each others opinion which brings a happier union on all accounts. While this may seem idealistic, it is a truism, for this is the only way there can be success with these types of marital relationship. Another Odu Ifa of Olosun Odi speaks specifically to the hardships of polygamy and the tragedy that can occur. In this Odu Ifa is a warning that even the children of this relationship will resort to bringing harm to the extent of physical harm to the other children of the mothers. This is because of the choices made in the raising of the children. This is something that requires deep meditation, spiritual consultation, long discussions that are objective and calm. It needs to investigate thoroughly. For that matter any idea of marriage requires true investigation for the endurance of the marriage. Olosun Odi Ifa pe nnkan wa o nii baje; a o si mo o se laye. Bi a ba ni Obinrin meji a o gbodo da Iyaale eni loro o. Ka moo toju Obinrin pelu awon omoo won daadaa Olo bodo gbele Bee ni o mohun odo Amokisi o mohun ekun A dia fun Latalapo tii se Baba ekute Nigba ti Latalapo o gbeyawo O ni meji Ekute si n’iyawo Iyaale e bimo Okunrin meta O si bimo Obinrin naa Igba Iyawo de Ko ba toju Iyaale e mo Ko dodo e mo Nigba awon omo dagba Awon omo iyaale ba pe iyaa won Nibi o ka gongo si Won ni Iyaa wa Gbogbo bi baba awon ti n se fun Iyawo Eese ti kii se iruu re fun iwo? Iya ni too Eyi toun ri nuu Gbogbo bi baba awon ti n se fun Iyawo Eese tii kii se iruu re fun iwo Iya ni too Eyi toun ri nuu Oun o sa le lo ibomiin mo Oun o si ni enikan loun bimo fun Bo ti se oun le ri un Oko o bo tiyaale e mo Afi tiyawo nikan Igba o dijo kan Awon omo ekute ba ta peere niwaju omo Ologbo O ba gbe e ponkan O Lon dun O dun Eekan de ibe O tun gb oun naa O lo dun Itan yi ko wa pe baa ba niyawo meji Ka mo fi iya je okan Ayin eyin ni baba ekute n yin awom Babalawo e O ni Olo bodo gbele Bee ni o mohun ekun Amokisi o mohun ekun A dia fun Latalapo tii se Baba Ekute Eyi ti n lo ree diya Ologbo nigbekun Oro ni o Oro ni Eyin o mo poro lOlogbo n ran fomo eku? Oro ni o Oro ni Olo lOlogbo n ran ti fi n pomo ekuu je Ifa prays that this person would be near perfect. If he has two wives, he should deal fairly with the two of them and their children The grinder lives with the mortar But knows not the sound of the mortar The cheetah does not know the roar of the tiger Cast divination for Latalapo, the father of all rats When Latalapo married He married two wives The first wife is the mother cat And the second, mother rat The first wife gave birth to three male children, And many daughters On arrival of the second wife He refused to care for the first wife again He refused to see her But the children of the two of them were being raised together The children of the cat one day called the attention of their mother From the corner where she was seated alone and dejected You our mother We notice that our father rains all good things on his second wife Why is it that he does not do the same for you? Too, she said That had been the ordeal I have been going through I cannot bear children for anyone anymore No one would be ready to take me over now? It is only your father that I ever have as husband That has been his behavior ever since he married his second wife mother cat concluded Thus husband did not want to hear about his first wife again Except issues concerning the second wife alone On a fateful day The children of mother mouse were playing excitedly around before the cat’s children A child of the cat caught one of them in its jaws This is delicious, he mewed This is tasty The second mouse got there He was caught also The cat repeated this is really good This story teaches us that if we are polygamous We shouldn’t oppress one wife at the expense of the other The father started praising his Babalawo belatedly He said the grinder lives with the mortar But know not the sound of the mortar The cheetah does not know the roar of the Tiger Cast divination for Latalapo, the father of all rats That was going to put mother cat in bondage It is real retaliation It is vengeance Don’t you all know it is vengeance that the cat is metering; that make him kill the mouse? It is retaliation It is vengeance It is retaliation that the cat is for killing the children of the rat References Olajuba, O. Women in the Yoruba Religious Sphere, ©2003published by State University of New York Popoola, S., Oyesanya, F. Ikunle Abiyamo, the Ase Of Motherhood, 1st ed. Asefin Media LLP 2008 Bascomb, W., The Yoruba of Southwestern Nigeria, ©1969, Waveland Press, Inc. Oshoosi, M. (Michael Frank Wright, PH.D., J.D) © 1996, Ibi’koni Orisha, Inc. http:www.acf.hhs.gov/healthy marriage/about/aami_marriage Clayton, O., Glenn, G., Malone-Colon, L, The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center; and Roberts, A. of the Institute for American Values) citations clearing 2009 Copyright©2009 Ile Iwosan Orunmila Mimo Temple, Fayomi Falade Aworeni Obafemi Ile Iwosan Orunmila Mimo Temple 4311 North 80th Lane, Phoenix, Arizona 85033 623.849.7179 Temple, 623.229.9198 Ela Moyin Aboru, Mo yin Aboye, Mo yin Abosise Ogbo Ato Asure Iworiwofun My Ori said to me during a dream: For I would rather be the progenitor of Truth; Than be carried by the riches of a thousand lies; For the Truth that I see allows me to know; the sound of a rose opening at the morning's dawn..,Fayomi Falade Aworeni,Iyanifa