A verse from an Odu Ifa says in part:
Ẹyin ko mọ wipe ori aboṣiku ni ori ọkọ wa
Let it be known that our husband's head is poverty-ridden
[let it known that our husband is destined to die poor]
Ayipada iyere
Then, the iyere changed
Ẹyin ko mọ wipe ori abọrọku ni ori ọkọ wa
Let it be known that our husband's head is studded with wealth
[let it known that our husband is destined to be rich], etc
As humans, we marry for different reasons, it seems. I have heard of a popular cliché in the Americas that indicates that some marriages are commitments born out of convenience. I have also had the opportunity to view a marriage that was born out of true love at close quarters. Likewise, I have seen/read media reports of marriages with questionable intensions. Most women marry, or want to marry, for love; some women marry for comfort; while some marry to feel a void. Of all the categories of marriages, a marriage that is backed up with love seems the best marriage and the best union of two loving hearts. A marriage cemented with love will withstand any pressure, be it internal or external pressure. Such marriage will actually become stronger under the stringiest conditions.
In ancient times and up till very recent in human history, marriage used to be a set institution that must be mostly maintained and preserved, emotionally, by the women in it. In some cultures, like in most Kmtyw culture, women bear the emotion burdens in their marriages. However, these ancient burdens were not without occasional outbursts by the women in it, as revealed in the above two lines from a verse of an Odu Ifa. According to Orunmila, the women (wives) were mad at their husband for passing off an opportunity to gouge a rich client—a King in this case. The wives conveyed their true feelings in their song that says, "Let it be known that our husband is destined to die in poverty." As opposed to being mad at his wives' decision to leave him because of his choice to do Ifa's wish, the Babalawo was comfortable with his decision: he accepted his emerging new lifestyle with dignity. He was about to prepare his own meal of the day, with the wives still around, when his luck changed for the best. The wives were surprised about the evolving change of luck--right there in their presence. Quickly, they changed their minds and actually started to praise their husband; an aftermath lyrics from their song says, "Let it be known that our husband is destined to be rich."
Just as it was in ancient time, so it is in our modern time. Some marriages or relationships are based on "What I can get out of it" mindset. Also, just as it was in ancient time, so it in our modern time: some people love to serve conscientiously while some want to extort. Ironically, too, just as it was in ancient time, so it is in modern time with some people being content with their Odumare given lots in life. So, whoever we decide to be, or whatever we decide to do, or however we decide to act, we should always remember the ever-present unseen energy that always rewards us according to our deeds and acts. On that note, dear Awos, be good and live conscientiously because our deeds are constantly being reviewed by the same energies we believe in, trust, and serve.
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Aboru aboye.
Chief FAMA
Ileorunmila. com
1 909 886 6023.